“A nightmare of a day from start to finish” were the (printable) words used by Fletching manager Rhys Williams to describe his teams dismal performance as they crashed out of the SCFA Junior Cup at the second hurdle. For their first round efforts of a 2-1 win over Punnetts Town II, The Archers were handed a daunting 110 mile round trip to the county ground of Bosham Reserves, against what were an unknown team. The debacle started late morning when goal keeper Phillips, who was replacing the unavailable Fingerneissl, contacted club officials to say that he was stuck in traffic and would not be able to make the early meeting time, meaning Darren Bradley was drafted in at the last minute.

Further communication problems resulted in half the squad meeting at The Highlands, whilst the other half being told The Recreation was the rendezvous point. This combined with several other factors (YTS turning up still pissed and Steve Barbe deciding he needed his Ginsters fix), meant the convoy left, forty minutes behind schedule, eventually arriving at the ground to find a disgruntled Neil ‘Northern Monkey’ Lucey and Michael ‘Bright Boots’ Duff (who had been waiting for just over an hour) and the referee who informed The Villagers that they had just twenty minutes until kick off!!

On the football side of things the problems continued – The First Team were still without Darren Wolvey and Frankie Egleton, whilst youngster Marcus Barbe and captain Stuart Douglas were both unable to play, meaning Greg Dann, Starnes, Leeves, Powell and Dowding were all promoted from the twos, with Burchett going the other way.

The first fifteen minutes were evenly contested by both sides, the extremely young side of the hosts getting forward with exuberance, as the visitors midfield five worked their socks off to afford their side attacking opportunities. Despite appearing to be slightly off the pace the Mid-Sussex league side were playing some of their nicest football – Dann, Barter, Duff feeding the space for Holford and Dowding to run onto down the right hand channel. Donnelly on the opposite wing was also getting forward at every opportunity, latching onto several long cross-field balls, but they, nor Lucey up front, could convert after getting into some promising and threatening positions.

At the other end Bosham had also began to work the back three of Funnell, Cork and Barbe, but could not find a breakthrough thanks to some hardy organisation. However their persistence paid off, and they found themselves one up on the twenty minute mark and in fortuitous circumstances after a typical Bradley howler!! An innocuous ball was thumped hopefully through from midfield, comfortably to an oncoming Bradley, who had stepped back to allow for the bounce, only to comically fall to his knees as the ball bounced teasingly over him into the net.

One nil down and the visitor’s heads seemed to drop – and from here on it Bosham who dominated the game in spells. Williams saw his side fall further behind after a Fletching break was broken down and Bosham moved the ball quickly down the right hand side, before some slack marking at the back allowed the hosts striker to meet the ball in a brave diving header from close range.

To their credit The Tangerine Machine looked to force their way back into tie, Ian Dowding carving out several good half chances for himself, which failed to work the keeper - one effort in particular blazing well over the bar and another where he misjudged his lob on an advancing shot stopper. Donnelly also cut into the danger area on a couple of occasions, whilst Lucey was proving to be a real nuisance. Bosham were by now playing the better football, everyone looking comfortable on the ball as they broke out from deep, swiftly and with real venom as they swarmed the midfield.

Shortly before half time and The Archers found themselves further adrift thanks to another calamitous cock-up. After an out-swinging corner and scramble in the box Bosham got a tame tow poke on target where a bemused Steve Barbe and keeper Bradley who had already dived for the ball, left it to one another to deal with, eventually going between the both of them to the give the delighted hosts a contented half time lead.

Williams rung the changes at the interval bringing off Neil Lucey and Luke Donnelly, and pushing Duff up alongside Powell. Midfield campaigner Leeves came on into a central position, as Dowding dropped back to play on the left and Barter on to the right. Whether the hosts took their foot off the pedal or not, it seemed to have the desired effect and straight from the restart Fletching looked the better side, pushing forward in pursuit of something and playing it around confidently, at least for the first ten minutes before Bosham scored a fourth – a blatant off-side which linesman Sam Starnes failed to spot.

Fletching pulled one back after Michael Duff won a penalty which he went on to convert, making it two-in-two now for the makeshift striker. It was to be all too late, the tie already won by the home side who went on to turn the screw, as Fletching capitulated. A fifth followed - a great goal by the host’s standards as the Bosham player skipped past several of The Archers opposition down the left, before evading another challenge as he broke into the box and coolly fired past Bradley.

The visitors still showed character in areas of the park, Steve Barbe went on an absolutely joyous run – a poor touch saw the ball ping well off his boot as he rampaged forward, he bottled the 50/50 challenge, skipping over it, but thankfully so did the opposition, so with a spring in his step he then proceeded to beat four further players before showing his true class and fluffing his pass!! Powell’s, pace and trickery ensuring he gave the home side’s defence a workout, he broke a number of times but failed when it most mattered. Leeves as well in the midfield did well when he came on, but the hosts made it six when they broke into the box. Bradley was out quickly, but his troublesome knee injury flared up and he could do nothing but watch as the striker easily rounded him to slot home.

With no other substitutes The Villagers were forced to continue the remaining fifteen minutes with only ten men – and everyone’s worst nightmare, just like something out of Chucklevision, Steve Barbe went in between the sticks! He clearly had no idea what he was doing, looking like a Greek Neville Southall, he came racing out off his line only for Bosham to round things off with a seventh. The Archers had the final say though, Toby Powell smashing home from close range right at the death with a deserved effort, as the referee blew for full time straight after. It was a humiliating defeat the Mid-Sussex league side, who will no doubt have learnt a lesson today, but could they not leave soon enough for the trek back along the A27.

Team: Bradley, Funnell (Starnes), S. Barbe, Cork, G. Dann, Barter, Duff, Donnelly (Leeves), Holford, Dowding, Lucey (Powell).